Handholding
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: You don't just let your enemy hold your hand for comfort.
1. Handholding

Seating arrangements always find a way to screw things up. Or maybe it was the lack of a seating arrangement that caused things to get confusing. Whatever, the seating placements, that may or may not of existed, probably wouldn't have made a difference in the American's behavior.

But the seating arrangements, that may or may not of existed, might have played a role in the Russian's behavior. If the Russian wasn't sitting by the younger nation, in the conference, then the American might have grabbed a different hand. Like the Japanese man's hand or the English man's hand.

It wasn't unfortunate that America grabbed Russia's hand. It was just…well as unexpected as a finding a coin of foreign currency in a Wal-Mart parking lot. It just completely caught the older nation by surprise.

It's not like its normal for your rival to suddenly grab your hand. Sure, the conference was observing some security footage from a ghost sighting, not too far away from the conference location. Sure, the rest of the room was a dark as the bottomless pit in Carlsbad. And sure, the volume was turned to "murder the eardrums" mode. But those three reasons didn't seem like enough for America to suddenly grab his hand.

Okay, maybe Russia just didn't know his rival as well as he thought he did. And maybe he didn't know himself as well as he thought he did. The Russian really wasn't sure why he kept holding the hand of his rival.

He really could have just pulled his hand away. That was his first instinct. But something about the younger nation needing comfort stopped that first instinct from happening. And that something just left the older nation as confused as a he would be if he were pondering the meaning of life.

Maybe Russia should just pull his hand away. The longer he held it the more confused he got. He was already so confused that he couldn't process what was happening in the security footage. Why were they watching security footage anyway?

Russia should probably just pull his hand away. If Japan found the security footage important enough to be observed during a world meeting, then it was probably important for him to actually watch the footage. Instead of pondering why he was still letting America hold his hand.

Seriously, why is still letting the younger nation hold his hand? Why is this security footage so long? Whose bright idea was to set the volume to "death by loud noise" mode? Why was he seated next to his rival in the first place? And why does he feel the need to give America's hand a comforting squeeze?

The dark and the "I'll love to be deaf" volume have to be screwing with his brain. You don't just let your enemy hold your hand for comfort. And you don't even consider giving your enemy's hand a comforting squeeze. You're enemies you don't think of or do things like that. You pull your hand away, call your enemy a sissy, and make fun of them for not being able to handle some ghost sighting footage. You don't keep holding your damn enemy's hand.

So why can't the Russian just pull his hand away from his American rival? Did he feel something for the…

The lights in the conference room went back on, and Japan turned off the security footage. And then the conference room erupted with wasteful conversation, like it always does.

"It was all a hoax."

"I thought it looked pretty real."

"Where, actually, was this footage taken from?"

"It came from a surveillance camera in-"

"Why did we watch that?"

"That's thirty minutes of my life, I'll never getting back."

"It's not like this meeting needed you to attend."

"My boss wants us to discuss-"

"I want lunch."

"Do you still have the flash drive I let you borrow?"

"Can somebody please open a window?"

"Liet, put your jealous face on. Cause I'm about to blow your mind!"

Yeah, it probably didn't matter if Russia actually paid close attention to the security footage. The others, obviously, weren't going to stay focused enough to actually have a professional discussion about the footage. They were already letting their conversations drift off into unimportant topics, like lunch and something about ponies. The security footage had already became a thing of the past, and soon everybody will forget that they watched it.

Well, almost everybody. Even though the lights were back on, and the footage was turned off, the American was still clinging the Russian's hand, like a little girl going shopping with her mother. Why didn't Russia just let go of his hand?

Maybe it was because the lights now allowed the older nation to see the look on the younger nation's face. America just kept staring at the blank television, with this strange terrified expression. It was almost like he was waiting for the footage to magically turn back on.

"May I please have my hand back?" the Russian asked the American. Russia was unsure why he asked permission to pull his hand away, and why he didn't really want to let go of America's hand.

"Oh... sorry," the American mumbled, after a pause, staring at the blank television.

Before Russia could point out to America that he was still holding his hand, England stood up. "Well, I think we can all conclude that this meeting was just another bloody, pointless, waste of time."

After England left everybody else left. Continuing their pointless conversations about guns and ponies as they walked out of the room. This left the Russian alone in the room with the American. Why didn't he just leave with everybody else?

"You know that the television is turned off, right?" the Russian asked as the American kept staring at the blank screen.

"Yeah… but I'm not letting my guard down," the American mumbled still staring at the blank screen. "They would… expect that."

"Who are they?"

"Ghosts."

The Russian man almost laughed. "You actually thought that footage was real?"

"It was real." The younger nation sounded dead serious.

"So are these 'ghosts' going to come out of the television?" Russia asked mockingly.

"Can they do that? Like in '_Poltergeist_' where the chick comes out of the TV?" America asked letting go of Russia's hand in panic. "Shit, I got a 42-inch 3D TV at home!"

Russia had to bite back his laughter. "Sure."

"Oh my gosh! I let my house turn into deathtrap without realizing it! I should have gotten a smaller TV! Ghost could be playing poker and munching on Tony's flesh as we speak!"

Wow, the American gets really gullible when he's terrified. This gave the Russian an idea. "I don't think ghosts would do that."

"Why is that?"

"Ghosts have rather large stomachs, your alien friend wouldn't be enough to feed their appetite. They would come after you, and eat you, before they played poker."

The younger nation grabbed his hand again. "I'm too young to die! Why can't Tony be fat? I should have fed him more Oreos!"

"That still wouldn't have been enough," the older nation stated, trying not to laugh at how easy this was.

"What do I do? I can't go home and be eaten alive by ghosts! I'm going to have to stay at Japan's place for awhile."

"The security footage came from Japan."

"Damn, you're right. Japan's house is infested with demons! Oh god, I guess I'm going to have to stay at Canada's place instead."

Who's Canada? Isn't he the lookalike that lives north of America? Yeah, that's him. "That doesn't put much distance between you and the ghosts."

"Shit, I guess I'm going to crash on England's couch for awhile."

"Isn't France staying at England's for the weekend?"

"Yeah, so?"

"It isn't polite to invite yourself over, when England already has a guest over."

"But there's freaking ghosts at my house! When ghosts are involved the laws of politeness don't exist!"

Where did he get these theories? And did the American even know the meaning of the word polite? "You could always stay at my place."

"Why would I do that? You're a commie bastard." America sounded completely disgusted by the idea.

"The Cold War is over. And I just thought you would enjoy going to my house for comfort."

"Why would you think something like that?"

The Russian smiled. "You're holding my hand for comfort, right now."

"I'm…" The younger nation looked down and realized that he was, in fact, holding the older nation's hand. "Shit."

"You're still holding my hand."

"No, you're holding my hand."

"Then why don't you just let go?"

"I…" America looked down at his hand then looked right back up.

"Well?"

"I… don't really want…"

"I can't really understand you when you're mumbling. Do speak up."

"It's not because I _like_ holding your stupid communist hand!"

Russia smiled. "If you don't like holding my hand, then why are you still holding it?"

"You're holding my hand!"

"Then why haven't you pulled your hand away?"

"I… uh… Shut up!"

"You still haven't pulled you hand away."

"I said shut up."

"Do you enjoy holding my hand?"

"I'm not answering that."

"So, you do enjoy holding my hand?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Is that why you're still holding my hand?"

"Still not talking to you."

"You know you could always let go of my hand."

The American turned to face the Russian. "No."

"I thought you weren't talking to me." Russia laughed.

"I'm not. You're talking to me." The American turned back to face the blank TV.

"You're talking to me right now."

"No. You're just talking to me."

"And you're responding back, therefore you're talking to me."

"Shut up."

Although it was amusing to argue with the younger nation, it wasn't getting the older nation anywhere. Russia pulled his hand away.

This caused America to grab his hand right back. "I thought you weren't holding my hand."

"I'm not. You're just holding my hand."

"You grabbed my hand back, right after I pulled it away from you."

The American blushed. "Uh…"

"Is it the 'ghosts' that are scaring you?" Maybe the Russian teased him too far earlier.

"I'm the hero, and the hero isn't afraid of anything."

"Then may I have my hand back? Since you're not afraid of anything."

"No."

Russia turned his head to look at the clock. Goodness, he's been holding the hand of his formal rival for a longer time than he thought. "America, I would like to go home. May I please have my hand back?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, but I have to go home," the older nation said standing up and letting go of the younger nation's hand. The American stayed seated and grabbed the Russian's hand again. "America, unless you want to go home with me, you better let go of my hand."

The younger nation stood up. "Okay."

"You're still holding my hand."

"I want to go to your house."

The older nation couldn't believe it. "Really?"

"Its only because my house is infested with ghosts!"

"Okay-"

"And if you tell anybody that I let you hold my hand, I'll kill you."

Russia smiled. Things between them haven't changed much, but his plan was working. "As long as you don't tell anybody that we cuddled."

The tease made the American blush. "We didn't… That's not going to happen!"

"I was joking with you, and your face is turning a lovely shade of red."

"Stupid commie bastard!"

Russia smiled. It's going to take awhile to crack his rival's hard shell. But, on the bright side, he was making some progress.

**A/N **

**Well, I don't know if this is going to be an oneshot, or if I'm going to actually commit to this and make a chapter story. **

**Please point out any dyslexic mistakes. **


	2. Waiting for the plane to leave

"Hey, boss, its me. I'm going to stay at Russia's house for..." America paused for a second, and turned in his seat to look at Russia. "Uh... the weekend... maybe longer. Call me back, okay?"

The American put his phone back up, in his coat pocket, and grabbed the Russian's hand again. "I thought you weren't going to hold my hand at the airport."

"We're not at the airport. We're on the plane now. And you're like...uh..." America shuttered. "Didn't you play hide-and-go-seek, as a kid?"

"The plane hasn't departed from the airport yet. And what's 'hide-and-go-seek'?" Russia asked confused.

"Dude, you never played hide-and-go-seek?"

"I just asked you what it was. Doesn't that conclude that-"

Russia was cut off. "Hide-and-go-seek is the most epic game that doesn't require a controller!"

That didn't explain anything. "And the point of game is to hold my hand?"

The younger nation blushed, and looked around at the other passengers nervously. "Uh...no."

"So, what is the point of the game?"

"The point of the game is-" America was cut off when _The Star Spangled Banner_ played out of his pocket. "That's my boss." He let go of the older nation's hand to hold the phone with his dominant hand.

The Russian remained silent as the American proceeded to have a conversation with his boss. This was slightly interesting, because America was actually listening to his boss. Well, it appeared that way since the younger nation actually paused to and let his boss speak. Normally, America just talked over everybody, without allowing anybody the chance to get a word in.

"Don't worry, boss, it'll be in on time...bye!" America hung up his phone, and turned to Russia. "You have a computer at your place, right?"

"Of course."

America put his phone back in his pocket. "Good, cause I haven't started that paper-treaty-letter-whatever-something."

"I never said that you could use it."

"What? Dude, I'm your guest!"

Russia laughed. "You could always try asking nicely, instead of demanding your right to use my computer."

"Whatever, your computer probably is communist anyway. I'll just type the damn thing on my BlackBerry."

That made no sense. And wasn't the younger nation using a different phone earlier? "I thought you had an iPhone."

"I do. The iPhone is for my personal use, and the BlackBerry is for my business use."

"Your boss's number is on your personal use phone?"

"Dude, my boss's number has to be on both."

"Then what's the point of having two phones?"

"To keep business separate from personal."

"Doesn't having your boss on both phones ruin the whole idea?"

"Not really, the boss man has to stay in contact no matter what."

"Why is that?"

America sighed. "It's the rules or something. My boss is just allowed to contact me at any ungodly hour he wants."

The older nation paused. The younger nation's phone theory was stupid, and this conversation was going nowhere. "So, what's this hide-and-go-seek game you were talking about?"

America grabbed Russia's hand again. "It's a game where you hide and the guy that's 'it' tries to find you."

"Sounds pointless."

"Dude, it's a blast in a half! One time I had the guys over-"

The Russian cut him off. "Who are the guys?"

"England, Japan, and Canada," the American answered. "Anyway, one time they were all over and we played the most epic game of hide-and-go-seek ever! England was it. And I knocked over this bookshelf, to make him think that I was hiding downstairs. It seriously screwed with his head. He was inspecting that bookshelf forever. It was hilarious! Anyway, I was actually hiding upstairs..."

America was strange. A game of hiding and waiting sounded completely stupid and pointless. Why would you need a game for that? And why did mentioning hide-and-go-seek make America grab his hand again?

"...I would have won that game, but Canada has some serious hiding skills. That guy just fades out of existence or something..."

Seriously, what did hide-and-go-seek have to do with handholding? America's rambling wasn't explaining anything. Was there more to this game than hiding and waiting? And why is this plane taking forever to take off?

"...I still can't believe that Japan could fit in that suitcase. I know Japan's a small guy, but still that suitcase looked like it was about half his size..."

Hide-and-go-seek was just a weird game. What was the point of it? How do you win this game? And what part of the game do you need to hide in a suitcase?

"...Then I accidently locked Canada outside for over an hour. England had a hissy fit, but it was Canada's fault. He could have yelled or something! I didn't know that I locked him outside! And it's not my fault that it started raining! I can't control the weather like..."

He locked his lookalike outside? For over an hour? This game was just getting weirder. What did it have to do with handholding? And when is this plane going to take off?

"...England had a great hiding spot, but he started talking to himself or something. What the hell is a flying mint bunny? I've never heard of it. I looked it up on Urban Dictionary..."

Seriously, what was the point of hide-and-go-seek? It didn't make any sense. Why would you hide and wait for somebody to find you? It just sounded pointless.

"...If I would have remembered to put my phone on silent, I would have totally won. Some random person, I never met, butt dialed me..."

Russia smiled. It was kind of cute how America was rambling off about nothing important. And it was kind of adorable how America needed to hold his hand for comfort...

Oh dear goodness, what the hell was he thinking? This was his formal rival! You're not supposed to think of your rival as cute. That's not part of the plan.

"...I'm not sure why we didn't change base location after it started raining-"

The older nation cut the younger nation off. "There's a base in this game?"

"Yeah, the base is where you try to get to before the 'it' dude finds you. Anyway, don't put base outside when there's a thunderstorm. Its awesome at first..."

So, there was more to this game than waiting and hiding. The players had to make it to the "base" before the person that was "it" found them. That was interesting, but hide-and-go-seek still sounded like a pointless game.

"...And that's why you never hide in a bathroom. I still feel bad for not mentioning that I had a maid coming over. But, hey, its not my fault the maid lady carries around pepper spray... "

Did this base have anything to do with the fact that America was holding his hand? What actually was base? There wasn't any sort of trees at the airport, or plane that refuses to leave the airport.

Wait; did the younger nation believe that he was currently in a game of hide-and-go-seek? Where these nonexistent ghosts they watched on the secretary footage it? And if America was the player and these nonexistent ghosts were it, then what was the base?

Oh dear goodness, the Russian's hand was the base. No, wonder the American was clinging to his hand, like a drunken man clinging his last bottle of booze.

"...Never hide with England. That guy takes up all the legroom. If I wasn't screaming at him to stop invading my personal bubble..."

The base theory was confusing. If Russia's hand was this base, then why did America make such a big deal about not wanting to hold his hand at the airport? That didn't make sense.

Maybe the American was just embarrassed that the Russian's hand was base. He did appear to be very uncomfortable not holding his hand. Yeah, America had to be embarrassed with his little made-up theory. They were, after all, former rivals.

"...Then I tripped over a extension cord. It completely gave away my position..."

America was giving Russia a headache. He was clinging his hand, because his hand was this base. But, at the same time his voice was relaxed and rambling about nothing important. How could his body language be so opposite from his verbal language?

"...The dude actually fell asleep in that box. If he didn't start snoring I would have never found him..."

When is this damn plane going to take off? Russia was starting to get annoyed from all America's rambling. The younger nation was completely confusing him. And it wasn't helping that this plane was taking forever to take off.

"...I guess he didn't know that it was a two way mirror. It sure was funny listening to him try to explain why he was-"

Russia cut him off. "America, I'm going to go ask why this plane isn't going anywhere."

"What? Dude, don't leave him." America's voice lost all the relaxation it had when it was rambling.

"I'll be right back." The older nation let go of his hand and stood up.

"Dude, you can't just leave me by myself!"

Russia laughed. "You want to hold my hand go with me?"

America blushed and looked around at the other passengers, waiting for the plane to take off. "No, its okay. I'm the hero. I can wait for a minute or two."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." He didn't sound sure. "Come right back, okay?"

"Sure." And with that the Russian left to find out why this plane wasn't leaving.

**A/N**

**Thanks, to all the awesome peeps that pointed out my silly typos. **

**If ya notice any for this chapter, please point them out. The sooner I fix it the better. **


	3. Demon Languages

After the Russian left the American was suddenly aware of a few things. One, he just let his base walk away. Two, he wasn't going after his base. And three, the other people on this plane weren't speaking English!

The third thing was what bothered America the most. Possessed people, in the movies, usually spoke in strange tongues. Oh shit, was it possible that some sort of demon-ghost-thing possessed everybody on this plane?

Hell, it was possible. Possessed people don't know how to speak like normal people. They either speak way too grammar-expert-formal, or in some strange nonhuman language. These other passengers were definably speaking in some nonexistent language.

Where was Russia? The older nation would know how to deal with these nonhuman people. The Russian could make them all evaporate, burst into flames, explode, magically turn into Skittles, melt, turn into a fountain of blood, or something else just by looking at them.

Damn, why did he let his base just walk away? Having all these demons magically turn into Skittles would be a really good thing right now. In the movies if you left your safe haven you got killed, murdered, ripped apart, eaten alive, chopped up, blasted to smithereens, poisoned, skinned alive, served with a side of butter, made into a human pincushion, burned, or you met your doom in some horrible combination of multiple tragedies.

Shit, maybe the others were right about him being an idiot. Only an idiot would stay in place while the safe haven was somewhere else. If he didn't leave his seat now, he could be blasted to smithereens. Maybe the younger nation should just leave his seat, and try to find the older nation before it became too late.

No, that's also a terrible idea. The possessed people around him would suspect that he wasn't one of them, and skin him alive. In the movies, if the hero found himself in the enemy's lair he pretends to be one of the minions or something.

So, how does the only unpossessed person on the plane pretend to be just like all the possessed people on the plane? Well, it shouldn't be that hard. All these possessed people do sort of seem like normal people. Normal people check their emails, read SkyMall, play Anger Birds, and do crosswords. Hell, if they didn't give themselves away by not speaking English, the American probably would have thought that they were just normal people.

America smiled to himself. This wasn't too much of a challenge for a horror movie expert. All he had to do was awkwardly text people until his safe haven got back. And if one of the demons decided to question him, then he could just say something in the made-up gibberish language the people around him were using.

Yeah, that language they were speaking was just made-up gibberish. The American was sure of it. If these possessed people were speaking a real language, then it wouldn't sound like they were freaking purring.

Well, most likely, these demons had no idea that the younger nation wasn't one of them. They probably weren't going to question him unless he did something to give away the fact that he wasn't a demon. But the hero was too awesome to do something that stupid. And if they did decide to question him, then he could just do some purring noises with his throat to make them think that he was one of them.

This was almost too easy. Well, not too easy. A common mistake, characters make in horror movies, is letting their guard down by getting too confident. America wasn't going to let his guard down. The hero never gets over confident and lets his guard down.

Shit, sitting here and thinking about getting over confident wasn't helping his image. If he was going to pretend to be one of these demons then he will need to act like one. And sitting and staring at everybody was really making him look out of place.

The younger nation took out his personal use phone. Until his safe haven comes back, he will just awkwardly text people he knows. That's what anybody does when they find themselves in an awkward situation. And finding yourself on a plane full of ghost impersonating normal people was seriously an awkward situation.

America scrolling through his contacts, who would be a good person to awkwardly text until his safe haven got back? Who would respond without questioning why he left the meeting with the Russian man?

The American really didn't want to explain his embarrassing base theory. Even if it was true, it still was really humiliating. If the other nations new that he let Russia hold his hand, they would kill him with their laughter. It wasn't fair.

Crap, America was awkwardly staring at all the possessed people around him again. If he kept that up, the possessed people might start to suspect that he wasn't possessed like them. The hero really needs to just text somebody already.

America scrolled though his contacts and nervously selected some of his friends. If one of them started to question him about leaving with Russia, then he could just not respond back. It was that simple.

_sup_?

The first person to respond was MapleMan.

_Where r u? Call me! _

Oh, yeah that's right. America and Canada had planned to fly back home, from the meeting together.

_Sorry bro Not going 2 b at airport _

_why? _

Now would be a good time to stop texting Canada. He was starting to get suspicious. And America really didn't want to explain that he left the meeting with Russia. It was already humiliating.

_What do you want? _

Oh good, Eyebrows responded to his text message.

_IDK _

_I don't have time for your stupidity. If you have something important to tell me, then call me. _

Why does England use proper grammar in a text message anyway? It just didn't seem right.

_im bored wat r u doing? _

The "I'm bored" part wasn't technically a lie. It was sort of boring waiting for Russia to come back.

_It's not my job to keep you entertained. _

_it should b_

_If you have something important to say, then call me. I'm too busy to dilly-dally with your pointless messaging. _

_wat r u doing? _

_Work._

Before America could text something back in return Kiku texted him.

_America, why are you texting me? Do you need something? _

_nah im just bored _

_Okay? Are you sure that you don't need something? _

Why did Japan always ask if he needed something? Its not like he only talked to his friend when he wanted something back in return.

_yeah im sure _

_Okay? Well, I'm about to have a meeting with my boss. _

_thats cool _

_Goodbye for now. _

_bye_

Damn, that was the last person he selected from his contacts. And the older nation wasn't back yet. America needed something to do to keep him from looking too out of place, until his safe haven came back.

Well, he could always text some of the other contacts on his phone. Its not like he didn't have anybody left to awkwardly text. He had plenty of contacts on his personal use phone.

America scrolled and selected a few more contacts at random.

_hi_

Frog was the first person to respond.

_Bonjour! _

_im bored _

_That's nice. I'm currently visiting England. Would you like me to send you an amusing photo? _

An amusing photo? Well that could be interesting.

_sure_

It took a few seconds longer to receive the picture message, and when America finally received it he almost fell out of his seat laughing. It was just that funny. How did France get England to wear a hat that looks like a parrot, and a eat a cheese stick in a seductive looking manner anyway?

Oh, England is a dirty liar! He's not busy he's posing for France and eating cheese sticks. Cheese sticks! There was something hilarious about England eating a cheese stick seductively while wearing a parrot hat.

America didn't realize that he was laughing so hard out loud, until one of the ghosts impersonating flight attendant came to ask him to calm down in the demon-ghost language.

"I... uh..." Crap, what was he supposed to do if he got questioned by one of the possessed people? "Didn't realize that I was being so loud."

Shit, he just spoke in English. These possessed people don't speak English. He just gave himself away. "Oh, you're American. Sorry, sir, I didn't realize it. I was just asking you to-"

America cut the flight attendant off. "You can't fool me demon! I know that you don't speak English!"

"Sir, calm down." The flight attendant's plea didn't do anything; America was already out of his seat.

"I'm getting out of here!" The younger nation pushed himself pass the flight attendant. "Y'all are all a bunch of demons! And I ain't gonna fall for it! You ain't going to serve me with a side of butter!"

And with that America ran out of the plane to find a good hiding spot from the all the demon-ghost-possessed people.

**A/N**

**Poor America. He didn't realize that everybody was either speaking Russian or Japanese, since it's a plane leaving Tokyo for Moscow. And poor Russia, he's going to have to find America now. **

**If you noticed any grammar mistakes, please let me know. The sooner I fix them the better. **

**Thanks! **


	4. Customer Service

Russia reread the directions a flight attendant had given him. It was really lousy that the flight attendant didn't know when the plane would be departing, or where the pilot of plane was. And it was pretty lousy that the Japanese flight attendant didn't know how to speak Russian.

Okay, maybe that flight attendant's lack of language skills wasn't the real problem here. The real problem is that the Russian has to leave the plane to walk all the way to costumer service just to get an answer to a simple question the flight attendant should have known. What kind of flight attendant doesn't know when a plane is going to leave or where the pilot of the plane is?

Ugh, Russia just wanted answers. And he really didn't want to walk all the way to customer service. He shouldn't have to leave the plane to get an answer the staff of the plane should know. That was just impractical.

Whatever, even if it was very unreasonable, the Russian still had to get his answers from customer service. There had to be a good reason behind why his plane wasn't departing. And there had to be a good reason behind why the pilot hasn't boarded the plane yet.

Russia sighed. Those workers at customer service better have a believable excuse. Bad things happen when you piss a Russian off. Very bad things, that don't need an exclamation right now.

Finally, after walking all the way from gate seventeen to gate four he made it to the customer service desk. Why did this airport have only one customer service desk? And why did it have to be so far away?

"Hello?" the Russian asked getting the attention of an employee. Experience has thought him to use English in other countries, since it is the official language of tourism.

The employee turned around, and set down the videogame he was previously playing. "Good evening, sir, how may I assist you?"

Thank goodness, this Japanese employee knows how to speak English. "I was wondering why my plane isn't taking off."

"Sir, tonight's weather conditions have delayed some flight entries to the airport. I'm sorry, if this is a inconvenience to you-"

Russia cut the employee off. "My plane is already at the airport."

"Weather conditions can cancel flights as well. If weather conditions are too intense, the flight could be canceled. That might be why your plane isn't letting people board."

"I was just sitting in my plane," the Russian corrected.

The Japanese employee frowned. "They let you leave after you boarded? You were supposed to remain seating."

"Well, the plane wasn't taking off, so I went to ask the pilot why. The pilot wasn't there and the flight attendant, I talked to, didn't know where he was." Russia held up the paper the flight attendant had given him. "I was given these instructions to get to customer service."

The worker took the paper from Russia. "This looks like Nana's handwriting," he mumbled to himself.

"Pardon?"

The worker sighed. "My little sister. She's a little clueless and makes silly mistakes a lot."

Russia raised an eyebrow. "You mean I wasn't supposed to leave the plane?"

"No, sir." He shook his head. "Sorry, about that. I wish one of the other flight attendants would have corrected her mistake, before you left the plane."

"Do I need to return back to my seat?"

"That would probably be best. I'm really sorry, about my sister's mistake." The Russian started to walk off. "Wait, sir!"

Russia stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"Out of curiosity, what flight is Nana working?" the employee asked. "I just wondering this, cause she's my little sister and all."

"My plane is taking me to Moscow."

The man gasped. "I am so sorry, sir!"

"Excuse me?"

"That flight departed three minutes ago." The worker turned his computer screen around to face Russia. "I just got the email. The pilot got locked in the bathroom, and that delayed the flight for thirty minutes. He just got out, and the plane just took off."

"Are you serious?" This was bad. This was very bad. That stupid American was still on that plane! He can't go through with his plan if America wasn't with him.

"I'm truly sorry, sir," the employee apologized.

"It's all right," Russia lied faking calmness. Things were bad. Things were very bad. He missed his flight. How could that possibly happen? That kind of thing is only supposed to happen to Americans!

"If you want I could get you on the next flight to Mexico City for free," the worker offered.

"No, its okay." No, it wasn't. Things were dreadful. Things were very dreadful. He missed his flight! That wasn't supposed to happen! That really wasn't supposed to happen!

"Are you sure?" The man obviously felt really bad about his little sister's mistake.

"Yes." Russia really wasn't sure. Things were terrible. Things were really terrible. A very paranoid America was by himself on a flight to Moscow. Does America even know what to do when he gets off the plane? Seriously, does America know where baggage claim is? Or where anything else at a foreign airport is located? That stupid American is going to get really lost. And Russia wasn't sure if his country's employees could handle a very paranoid stupid nation.

"I feel truly awful." The employee turned his computer screen back around. "Want me to buy you a drink?"

"Vodka-" Russia cut himself off. Drinking might not be the best idea right now. "Can you tell me when the next flight to Moscow will be?"

The employee sighed. "I'm really sorry, sir, but there won't be any other flights today."

"But, you just offered me a flight to Mexico City," Russia protested. He needs to find America. When America is paranoid and alone bad things happen. The stupid nation starts texting people, ordering massive amounts of Chinese food, making unnecessary laws that make it hard for Russia to travel, and causing other problems.

"That's the last flight of today." The worker stared at his keyboard awkwardly. "Would you like that drink now?"

Russia sighed. "Make it vodka."

**A/N **

**Sorry, about this update being late. I didn't have writer's block. I had motivation block. Oh, and I'm giving up fanfiction for lent. So, there won't be any updates during lent. **

**Nana isn't the flight attendant America yelled at. Just in case if ya were wondering. America was yelling at one of the Russian flight attendants. And Russia doesn't know that America ran off the plane yet. **

**Please, point out any grammar mistakes. I'm very thankful that you guys help me with grammar and spelling. You guys are so awesome! **


	5. Mother Ship

America sighed and caught his breath. The young nation had be running without stop through this entire demon-ghost-infested airport. Finally, he had made it to a place safe enough to stop running for a moment to catch his breath.

Well, it wasn't safe enough. Turning his head around the corner confirmed his thoughts that he wasn't alone yet. This whole airport was infested with demon-smelly-ghosts!

Wait, was this even an airport? This could be a mother ship disguised to look like an airport. Oh goodness, he really wasn't at the airport. He was on some demon mother ship!

Shit! He needs to get out of here now. If those demons caught him terrible things could happen. They could see his beautiful flesh and decide to eat him because they're cannibals! Or worse they could look at his beautiful body and decide to use him to reproduce their demon race! Or even worse they could perform horrible experiments on him!

Like testing man's ability to breathe under water for long periods of time, or man's ability to tolerate unattractive music! Goodness, that would suck to be forced to listen to Friday while you're drowning.

No, that sort of torture experiment isn't creative enough for those demon-Pacman-ghost-monkeys. If they caught him, then they would want to perform experiments much more awfully creative than that.

Crap! What if they caught him and decided to test something awful like, man's ability to not eat meat? That would suck more than having to piss while watching a movie at the theater! If America didn't have beef, then he'll go crazy!

Like really crazy. One time he was visiting Italy and had a really bad craving for hamburger, and... Uh, let's just say that the big museum didn't really need that priceless sculpture. Hey, it wasn't his fault that the sculpture looked edible looking at it with hungry eyes.

Suddenly, the American was aware of how terribly hungry he was. He hadn't eaten since the world meeting. That was just some Doritos and a Coke. Beverages don't have calories, and all the calories he took in from the chips were nearly gone from all running he was doing through this mother ship. He needed food now.

The young nation groaned, and put his hand into his pocket for his personal use phone. It wasn't in his pocket! He might of left it on the plane, or those demon-ghost-monkeys stole it from him!

Ugh! Not doubt those demon-ghost monkeys stole it from him. Demons are always attracted to shiny things like technology. They were probably taking making duck faces and taking self-centered Facebook pictures with his iPhone right now!

Those thieves, the world doesn't need demons tagging themselves with pictures with captions like "OMG!1! I'm like sooo FAT in this photo!", "Do you like my piggy tails?", or "Check out my abs! Bitches! I even had CAKE today!". Ugh, the world doesn't need anymore stupid Facebook status updates, especially when the United States of America needs food.

This really wasn't fair. Without that phone the young nation couldn't call for some takeout. This really sucks when your tummy is making the rumblies. Well, he could use his other phone for calling for takeout. But, he doesn't have those numbers saved on his business phone.

Damn, maybe he should have taken England's advice and actually memorized the phone numbers of people, instead of just labeling them as contacts, with silly names, in his phone.

Shit, never mind the Englishman's stupid advice. Its not like he could memorize those numbers now. He needed his phone now. Maybe he could just punch in random numbers, in his businesses phone, and hope that it would call some random restaurant. That could work.

No, it couldn't. He could punch in a wrong number and end up talking to a lonely cat lady for a few hours, or he could end up talking to somebody really rude. Ugh, never mind.

America didn't have time for talking to insane people. He had to get out of this mother ship now. And even if he did call some place that has takeout, how would those delivery guys delivery his ordered food?

The American shook his head. He can't order food and put the delivery dudes in danger. That's something the hero doesn't do. The hero never puts people in danger, even if they have to wear one of those stupid hats for their delivery job.

"Excuse me, sir?" The sudden voice made the young nation freeze. "Are you missing any of your luggage? There's a unattended baggage sitting in-"

America turned to face the holder of the voice. "You're not speaking the demon language," he said cutting the woman off.

"Pardon?"

"You're not speaking the demon language!" the American cried. "But your trick isn't going to work!"

The Japanese woman frowned at the nation slowly backing away from her. "Are you ill?"

"I'm not going to fall for it!" America said backing further away from the female impersonating monster. "I'm going to find Russia! And he's going to go all ra ra Rasputin on your fake female ass!"

After saying this, the young nation sprinted away. The fake demon lady screamed something in her demon language as he ran away from her. If he weren't so terrified about being on this demon space ship, then he would have laughed.

He made the right call. That lady was clearly, really a demon-genderless-ghost instead of some random Japanese lady asking if he was the owner of some unattended luggage. Those demons were getting way to obvious.

Well, obvious or not America couldn't keep dodging all these demons. The younger nation needed the older nation to turn these monsters into Skittles before it was too late. He needed food, and Skittles allow you to taste the rainbow!

If he didn't find Russia, then America could end up being a used in a human pincushion experiment, or a being forced to listen to long audio books read by people with boring voices experiment.

That would suck! Nobody likes listening to long audio books read by people with boring voices. If the American could then he would make a rule that requires all audio books to be read in really cool sounding voices, like Australian accents. Those accents sound freaking awesome!

Shit! All these random thoughts of how awesome sounding Australian accents are almost made America run into a wall. He needs to keep running, find Russia, and get out of here before it was too late.

Where was Russia? The last place he saw he was on the plane. Or was that plane really just a demon-ghost space pod? Wait a second, shit! The Russian was still probably on that demon space pod.

"No running!" a demon voice yelled as he ran through the mother ship.

"I know a guy that will shove a pipe up your ass!" America yelled back to whoever the holder of the voice was. "You'll be able to call yourself a corndog!"

"I'm calling security!" the voice said back.

This was bad. This was very bad. Russia was being shipped off to some monster day camp, and America was still trapped at the mother ship! And some random guy was calling security on him.

"Russia!" the young nation yelled as he ran through the ship. "I need you!"

Where was the exit on this place? In the movies there's always an exit. Where's the exit? There's always an exit! Where was Russia too?

The American stopped running and caught his breathe. He was a good distance away from whatever demon yelled at him. But he still wasn't safe yet.

"Russia! I know that you would love to sing 'head and shoulders knees and toes', if I somehow chopped off my leg..." America took a deep breath all that running had made him tired. "... but that doesn't mean that you wouldn't save me from demons!"

No answer. The only people around him were some confused businessmen and tourists, that were really demon-monkeys. The older nation was nowhere in sight.

"You need to save my ass!" America yelled. "The United States of America is too young-"

Before he could finish security hit him with a Taser.

**A/N**

**Lents over!**

**Please point out any grammar mistakes. Oh, and if you haven't ever listened to the song "Rasputin" listen to it. **

**I still love you guys! **


	6. Wesley

Russia sighed as he looked around the small airport bar. Nana's big brother had already left him to get back to work, and he was about to start his sixth drink, or maybe it was his seventh drink, and there was still no sign of the American in this empty place.

Well, what did he expect? This bar was empty. It wasn't empty when he and Nana's brother got her, but as time passed the bar got empty. Nana's big brother left, businessmen left, and all those annoying tourists left. Leaving this bar almost completely empty. The young nation wasn't going to show up in this emptiness.

America was currently on a plane to Moscow. That idiot wasn't going to just walk into an empty bar and demand that Russia hold him or something. That would just be random and really ridiculous.

"Sir, are you waiting for somebody?" a pleasant voice asked. "You seem to be looking around a lot."

The Russian turned around to face the holder of the voice. It was strange that this bartender wasn't Japanese. Maybe this guy was just an American, or possibly Canadian, exchange student working at a Japanese airport for a school program or something.

"No, I'm not waiting for anybody," he told the bartender after a small pause. Waiting is different from hoping.

"Oh... okay," the bartender said. "Sorry, for being nosy. I was just wondering if I should keep the bar open a little longer. In about thirty minutes I'm required to close up shop."

"Oh," Russia said sighing. "Well, if you don't mind, I would very much appreciate it you left the bar open a little longer."

The bartender smiled. The Russian found his smile pleasant maybe this guy was Canadian. "No, I don't mind." He grabbed a bottle from under the counter. "You were drinking vodka, correct?"

"Correct," the Russian answered letting the, probably Canadian, bartender refill his glass.

"Yeah, I thought so. You looked like you were drinking that stuff like how my old roommate drank coffee," the bartender said pleased with himself.

"Well, I am very fond of it." The bartender chuckled making Russia raise his eyebrow. "Pardon?"

The bartender continued laughing. "Sorry, it's just that it's so typical!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you're Russian," the bartender stated. "Or at least I'm assuming that you're Russian. 'Cause your accent is very Russian, and you didn't look too thrilled when that one tourist put Rocky IV on of the TV's-"

"I find that movie distasteful."

"Anyway, I just find it funny that you're Russian and are very fond of vodka," the bartender finished as he laughed.

Russia sort of glared at him. Maybe this guy actually was American rather than Canadian. "I don't understand why you find that amusing."

"Uh... yeah, I'm just strange," the, most likely American, bartender said feeling somewhat uncomfortable. This defiantly not Canadian was probably coming to the realization of how much bigger the Russian man was compared to him. "It really isn't amusing. Uh, that one's on the house!"

The Russian smiled. "That's very thoughtful of you." He took another swing of his free drink.

"Yeah... you're welcome." The bartender looked like he was regretting his decision to let the Russian man stay. "Well, my boss is probably going to be furious with me for using the electricity past closing time-"

Russia cut him off. "I thought you said that I could stay."

"I did... but..." The bartender was stuttering. "Then I remembered my boss's temper! Yeah! My boss has a big temper. Like moving mountains make you pee in your pants big temper! And he's sort of a penny pitcher, so he would be mad at me for putting a few extra bucks on the electric bill 'cause I was keeping the lights on-"

"We can turn the lights off, and light candles if you want?" the Russian offered cutting him off.

Hey, if the older nation was stuck in the airport without the younger nation to entertain him, then why not have this American student entertain him?

"I... uh..." The bartender was stuttering again. Being alone with this Russian guy in the dark didn't really didn't seem like an appealing plan to him. "Don't have any candles!"

"No worries," Russia teased smiling. "I have pretty great night vision."

"Uh..." The American student looked around the counter. "Hey, look I found a box of candles!" he said holding a box that he knew was there the whole time.

The Russian grinned. "That's very fortunate."

"Yeah! It really is," the bartender said stuttering and quickly lighting a few of them. "There see light! God's symbol of goodness!" He turned off the lights, and then turned them immediately back on. "Uh... I'm going to light a few more of these."

Russia chuckled. "You remind me of Latvia."

"Huh?" the American student asked focusing more on lighting as many candles possible, then to really pay attention all the candles he was lighting.

"I said that you remind me of-" The Russian cut himself off remembering one of the unspoken rules. "You remind me of Raivis."

"Uh... you're welcome," the bartender said lighting another candle.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments.

"Where are you from?" Russia asked brining the silence to an end.

"Barrow, Alaska," the American student answered too quickly from nervousness. If he weren't so nervous, then he probably would have lied. "A school program got me sent here. I'm studying Japanese for my second year at-"

"Oh good. I'm somewhat fond of Alaska," the Russian stated cutting his rambling off. The older nation was very pleased that his assumption that this guy was an American student was proven correct. "What's your name?"

"Wesley Brandon Browning," the bartender, or Wesley Brandon Browning, stated too quickly before he could think of giving a fake name instead of his real name.

"All righty, well, Mr. Wesley Brandon Browning, my name is Ivan Braginski," Russia told the man. "Now that you know my name, and I know your name, we can be more comfortable with each other when the lights off."

"Yeah... sure... I guess." Wesley Brandon Browning clearly looked like he wasn't comfortable with the idea. "Uh... I'll go turn the lights off now."

"That would be great," the Russian stated letting the bartender turn the lights off again.

Once the lights were off Wesley Brandon Browning turned them back on again. "Uh... I don't have very good night vision."

Russia laughed. "Neither do I."

"But you said-"

The Russian cut him off. "I was teasing you," he said finishing off his drink. "I would like a refill if you don't mind, Wesley." Wesley took Russia's glass for a refill. "Do you mind if I just call you Wesley? Wesley Brandon Browning is a bit of a mouthful."

"No I don't mind," Wesley said as he finished filling his glass. "If you don't like Wesley you could call me Stan or Dave or whatever you want to call me."

Russia smiled enjoying Wesley's discomfort. "No, Wesley is fine."

"Okay."

The Russian smiled and took a sip of his drink. "So, how's Alaska doing?"

"Uh... well... it's really cold. I used to have a roommate from Arizona he said that is was really cold here, and got really homesick- "

"Is America treating Alaska well?" Russia asked cutting his rambling off. Alaska might just be land, not human like him, America, and the others, but he used to own that land. And that made him somewhat fond of it.

"Sure, I guess."

The Russian darkened. "You guess?"

"Uh... I mean-" Wesley was cut off by his cellphone. "I'm sorry but I have to take this."

"Go right ahead." Russia smiled teasing this guy and making him petrified sure was fun.

But as fun as it was, messing with Wesley had no point in his plan. Sure, it was great to know that Alaska was doing well, but knowing that still had no point in his plan.

"No sir, I haven't seen the man you described," the young American student said into his phone. "Oh?"

The older nation sighed. If he wanted the younger nation to give him information in his paranoid state, then he would still need the younger nation in his paranoid state when he met him in Moscow, whenever that will be. Sadly, America was probably going to be back to his annoying normal personality before Russia met up with him in Moscow.

"Sir, if you already caught him, then why are you asking me if I've seen him?" Wesley asked whomever he was talking to on the phone. "I see... really?"

It really was a shame that the older nation's plan won't be able to continue. The younger nation really was adorable when he was in that paranoid state. It's a shame that-

Wait? Did he just consider America adorable?

Ugh! Never mind. You don't think of your rival as cute. That's weak, and not part of the plan.

"Certainly, sir." The bartender paused to let the other person speak. "Well, that is a strange thing for somebody to be screaming..." Wesley turned to look at Russia. "Can you describe the man the criminal described again?"

The Russian raised an eyebrow. "Is there a reason why you're looking at me like that?"

"I think I found the man you described," the bartender said into the phone. "Yes?" Another pause. "Of course, I'll bring him." Wesley hung up.

"What was that all about?"

The bartender put his phone away sighing. "This is probably a big mistake, but some lunatic is claiming to be the United States of America-"

America somehow got off the plane?

"Security has him locked up, and this lunatic keeps screaming for the Russian Federation to... uh... save his ass."

America got off the plane? How is that possible?

"Anyway, they asked this lunatic what he meant by that, and he described a man that looked exactly like you," Wesley said still sounding uncomfortable. "This is probably a big misunderstanding, but security wants me to escort you to this lunatic. They think it might calm him down, or something."

"It will calm him down. I'm certain of it." Russia smiled. His plan was back on, by some twist of faith. "What are we waiting for? Escort me to this lunatic."

**A/N**

**Does anybody else feel like you're suffocating your PlayStation when you hold down the power button to turn it off? Or is it just me? **

**Anyway, please point out any grammar mistakes. Even if they are from a previous chapter. **


	7. Making A Promise

The life of a prison guard working at an airport is quite boring. You just sit in a quiet room, and wait for the day to be over. Then you go home, take a shower, eat something, watch a little television, go to bed, and then wake up the next day to go right back to work. It's exactly like school but without the lectures, questionable classmates, examinations, spirit weeks, and anything else interesting. It's just extremely boring with nothing interesting happening.

But the pay is pretty good for not doing anything. Like having a decent apartment without a horny roommate pretty good. So, that's one thing Rafu, or Rufus according to his American friend Wesley Brandon Browning, didn't need to complain about. But still Rufus wished that some days could be more a little more entertaining.

Rufus never thought his wish would be granted with an American lunatic getting locked up. This airport prison never gets anybody locked up for a longer time than it takes to ask the simple survey questions of "Who are you?", "Where are you going?", and "May I please see some identification?". So having a total foreign lunatic who was claiming to be a country was completely out of the ordinary.

This "I'm the United States of America you demons! Let me out or you'll be greeted to the lovely pipe of the Russian Federation!" guy was indeed something a prison guard doesn't get to be entertained by everyday. But as entertaining as it was, Rufus had gotten annoyed when he realized that this lunatic wasn't going to ever calm down.

Unable to think of a way to calm this "You hear me you demons? I'm the United States of America!" guy who was trying to bite off the cell bars, Rufus decided that it would be best if a American was brought in to talk to this American lunatic. Maybe it was just some sort of cultural clash that was making this guy go nuts.

Rufus's boss liked his idea of bringing in Wesley Brandon Browning. He liked it so much that he started dialing the American bartender's number before Rufus could finish explaining why calling Wesley was such a great idea.

While his boss was on the phone the "Let me out! Or suffer the horror of the Russian Federation!" guy described what the Russian Federation looked like. He described a very tall man, who wore a scarf, had platinum hair, and unusually beautiful violet eyes. All seemed bogus since the Russian Federation wasn't a person, but a large amount of very cold land.

But as bogus as it sounded, Rufus's boss described the man the lunatic had described over the phone to Wesley. And oddly enough, the American bartender had stated over the phone that he found this man.

Now all the prison guard had to do was wait for the bartender to arrive with this Russian Federation guy, and this lunatic would hopefully be taken care of.

Rufus sighed. Sadly, he didn't think that this Russian Federation guy would solve whatever this United States of America's problem was. What exactly was this lunatic's problem, anyway? Did he take too many drugs? Or was he just dropped on his head a lot as a child?

"Dude, demon, am I some sort of steak?" the lunatic prisoner asked the prison guard.

"Huh?" responded Rufus realizing that this was the first thing the prisoner had said without screaming.

The lunatic glared at him. "Why are you grilling me, dog?"

"Excuse me?"

"You keep staring at me like I'm sort of meal," the American answered.

The prison guarded blushed. He didn't realize that he was staring at his crazy prisoner. "Sorry."

"Yeah... whatever." The lunatic paused. "You're not going to eat me are you?"

"No."

"Good 'cause the world really needs the United States of America!" He waved his fist, and then paused for a moment. "You didn't just lie to me, demon?"

"No," Rufus answered.

"You sure?"

"I'm not a cannibal," the prison guard responded. "I probably shouldn't be asking you this, but why do you keep claiming that you're the United States of America?"

"Because I am the Untied States of America," the lunatic answered. "Who are you anyway, demon?"

The prison guard pointed to himself. "Me?"

"Yeah, you," the American prisoner said annoyed. "Do you see any other demons in this room?"

"Well, my boss is in the back room waiting for-"

"Just tell me what they call you demon!"

"Oh... I'm Rafu, but my American friend calls me Rufus, because autocorrect kept changing my name to Rufus whenever he texted me," Rafu answered rambling. "So thanks to autocorrect my American friend calls me Rufus instead of Rafu."

"I doubt you have an American friend, demon," the lunatic spat. "Americans are not stupid enough to befriend demons."

Rufus felt insulted. "I do too have an American friend. His name his Wesley, and he works at the bar in this airport. He's an exchange student from Alaska studying Japanese and-"

"This isn't an airport it's a mother ship," the prisoner said cutting him off.

"Wesley found that Russian Federation guy you described and is bringing him to you to calm you down," Rufus continued.

The lunatic face looked like it was between joy and despair. It was an expression the prison guard had never seen before. It made Rufus wonder what this prisoner was possibly thinking.

"I bet you're lying to me," the American said after a long pause. "There is no possible way that you demons have caught Russia."

"I'm not lying."

The lunatic smirked. "Ha, I know you're lying! Russia is too badass to be caught by you demon guys! He's got a pipe and stuff!"

"He isn't caught. This man, that looks exactly like your description of the Russian Federation, freely volunteered to be escorted by Wesley to come here," Rufus said sighing. "It's probably all a big misunderstanding, but I'm very thankful that this random guy that looks like the man you described freely volunteered to visit you-"

"I bet he isn't Russia."

The prison guard shrugged. "Who knows? It will be very appreciative if the man Wesley found is this Russian Federation guy. We'll have to give this pleasant man a big thank you if he is, and he gets you to-"

"He isn't! It's probably just one of your stupid demons in disguise," the American lunatic said. "I would know if it really is Russia. I can recognize that guy anywhere."

"Okay?"

The prisoner laughed. "I'm so confident that you guys are not going to bring me Russia, and that you don't have an American friend, that I'm going to make you a ridiculous promise."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," the America said grinning. "If your American friend, that doesn't exist, somehow waltz in here with the Russian Federation, then I'm going to kiss him right on the mouth!"

"Wesley or the Russian Fe-"

The lunatic cut him off. "The Russian Federation. I'm not going to kiss your nonexistent friend, idiot." He put his hand to his chest to make a promise. "I, the United States of America, am so confident that you're lying that I promise you, Mr. Rufus, if that is your real name, that I will kiss the Russian Federation right on the mouth if your nonexistent American friend somehow brings him in here. And the United States of America _never_ breaks a promise!"

**A/N**

**Oh, funny story. The other day my cousin, Ellie, got a text message that said, "Happy Birthday, Jordan. From everybody here at the office." So, instead of just not responding or telling this person that they have the wrong number she texts back, "Party at my place at 7! Spread the word!" I feel sorry for this random Jordan person. His/her life just got ruined by an eleven-year-old girl. **

**I'm a blonde, dyslexic, American, so please point out the grammar mistakes. Even if they are from a previous chapter. **


	8. America Faints

Finally, after walking eight minutes, the bartender and the Russian man had made it to the airport's prison. It had a more proper name than prison, but Wesley was unable to remember the name at the moment.

The creepy Russian guy was responsible for that. Even though there little walk to this "has a proper name" prison place was only eight minutes, Wesley felt like he had been escorting this guy for the amount of time it takes to make the Oregon Tail.

"After you, sir," the exchange student said politely opening the door for the creepy Russian guy.

The Russian smiled. "That's very respectable of you, Wesley."

Wesley gave a shy smile, and closed the door behind them. Once they were inside Rufus's boss started talking.

"My goodness," the boss guy, Wesley never learned the name of, muttered. "He looks exactly like what that lunatic described."

The creepy Russian raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You have the Russian accent, the platinum hair, the intimidating height, the violet eyes, and you're even wearing a scarf!" Rufus's boss cried holding his arms out. He then turned to the exchange student. "Mr. Browning how ever did you find this man so quickly?"

"Uh... well we where having a nice little conversation before you called me," Wesley stated trying to remember if Rufus ever told him his boss's name before. Maybe his friend did tell him his boss's name, and he just didn't listen.

His friend's boss, the bartender still couldn't remember the name of, smiled. "I guess we can just consider that good fortune-"

The Russian guy cut him off. "It would be better fortune of my friend didn't get himself into this mess."

"True," Rufus's boss agreed. "This lunatic is very unstable. Rafu, my best employee, has tried to calm this man down. He even had to Taser him."

"Taser? Just how crazy is this guy?" the exchange student asked before he could stop himself.

His friend's boss smiled. "Completely insane. He's tried biting the bars off his cell. Rafu had to Taser him to keep him from hurting himself. He also wouldn't stop screaming. He keeps claiming that he is the United States of America-"

The Russian laughed. Wesley and Rufus's boss looked at him confused, unable to understand why he was laughing.

"Is there something amusing here mister..." Wesley's friend's boss frowned realizing that he never learned the Russian man's name.

"Braginski," the bartender finished. "Uh... his name is Ivan Braginski."

Ivan Braginki smiled pleased that Wesley Brandon Browning remembered his name, and was able to pronounce it correctly. Wesley was probably able to pronounce is name correctly because he's from Alaska.

If the exchange student were from mainland United States, then most likely he would be one of those "Dude a word can't end with a 'I'. And why does your last name get a pretty red line under it when typed on my computer?" annoying hippie people.

A memory of those hippies made Russia laugh harder, and the two other men look at him even more confused.

"Mr. Braginski, do you care to tell us what you are finding so funny?" the boss man asked interrupting his laugher.

The Russian sighed. "Oh, I was just remembering something amusing about my... uh... companion, and the people like him."

Wesley's friend's boss frowned. His brain was clearly worrying about those other people who were like the lunatic locked up in his cell. "Okay... uh... would you like to visit your friend now?"

Russia grinned. "Of course."

The boss man smiled. "Alright then, both of you follow me-"

"May I go back to work?" the exchange student asked cutting him off, and keeping him from moving forward. "I still need to close up shop-"

Rufus's boss cut him off. "Not yet. I might need your help dealing with the lunatic. You're American, and the lunatic is American. So, if this problem is really a cultural clash, then I'm going to need your help. This problem might be too big for Mr. Braginski to handle."

"It won't be," the Russian insured.

The exchange student sighed, unhappy that he still had to accompany the creepy Russian. "Let's hope so," he mumbled following his friend's boss.

Rufus's boss guy smiled as he escorted them into a hallway. "Out of curiosity," he said to the Russian as they walked, "how does a Russian become best friends with an extremely prideful insane American?"

Russia frowned. "We aren't best friends."

"Are you more than friends?"

"No, no, no," the Russian said sounding disgusted by the question. "I assure you that there is no attraction between the two of us."

Wesley's phone made a buzz. "Sorry, I forgot to turn this off." He opened his phone and read the message his friend Rufus had sent him, and immediately cracked up.

Rufus's message was this; "_This lunatic just promised me that he's going to kiss the Russian Federation on the mouth if he somehow waltz in here with my imagery friend. Have your camera ready. The internet will want this." _

"Is there something you would like to share?" Rufus's boss asked cutting the exchange student's laughter off.

The exchange student closed his phone embarrassed. "No, no, no." He quickly put his phone back into his pocket. "I... uh... just laugh when I'm nervous..."

Russia frowned. "What are you nervous about?"

"I... uh... I'm little worried about this American. Yeah, I'm just worried that this American is going to be completely insane," the bartender answered.

"He is completely insane," the Russian stated. "Oh, and by the way, his name is Alfred."

"Alfred," the boss guy repeated. "Well, we're here," he said opened the door to where they had locked up this insane Alfred guy. "Who wants to go inside first?"

"I'll go," Wesley said. Once he was inside the room he took his phone out again and hit record.

Rufus smiled. "Is that recording?"

"Duh," the exchange student answered. "I've always wanted my own viral video on the internet."

The prison guard smiled evilly at the American locked in the cell. "Are you going to take back your promise?"

"No! So, you demon friend somehow looks American and has an American accent," the lunatic inside the cell said. "Big whoop. It's not like Russia is going to-"

Russia walking inside cut off the American lunatic. "Hello, Alfred."

"You're not... I'm not... You're not... I'm not..." the American stuttered amazed. "This isn't supposed to happen!" He pointed at the prison guard. "You played a nasty trick on me!"

"What are you trying to say?" the Russian asked, as the exchange student turned his phone to record the American.

America began hitting the cell bars with his head. "I can't believe this!"

"The United States of America never breaks a promise," Rufus teased grinning. He was very pleased that this annoying American, who had been pestering him with his rude comments, was going to be taught a lesson.

"I can't believe this shit!" the American yelled hitting his head even harder on the bars.

"Why is he hitting his head-"

America fainted before Rufus's boss was able to finish asking his question.

**A/N**

**Sorry, that there wasn't a kiss. I just thought that America would freak out, bang his head, and then faint. But don't worry he'll have to keep his promise when he wakes up. **

**Announcement Time! We have all been invited to the wedding of ****Antonia Ivanevna Braginski and Wesley Brandon Browning. Isn't this great? Its not everyday a reader sends a review asking if they can marry a very unimportant original character. **

**Anyway, if you notice any grammar mistakes let me know in a review. And if anybody wants to marry Rufus, or his boss, let me know in a review. **


	9. Out Of Body Experience

So, this is how it's all going to end? The lovely American is going to wake up from this unconscious state, and kiss the commie Russian right on the mouth. And the moment that happens America is going to drop dead, like some sort of bug hitting a light bulb.

Russia's lips were poison. Not one of the lame types of poison that toddles sometimes swallow and their parents have to call that one number to fix. The extremely deadly type of poison that makes you drop dead before you can even think something like, "Oh, shit! I'm going to die! Who's going to feed my cat?".

Goodness, it's a shame that he's going to have to wake up when he's looking so peaceful looking. Seriously, he had no idea that he looked so cute in his sleep. His mouth isn't open with drool coming out of it, and he isn't making any disgusting snoring noises. Hell, he was sleeping just like the dudes in the movies do.

That demon prison guard, that somehow American friend, the boss demon dude, and Russia are totally admiring him right now. Those guys look completely amazed that he looks extremely sexy in his sleep. They're staring at him unmoving, with their mouths open in amazement and stuff.

Only somebody who sleeps this sexy can cause this effect. Sexy people can make people stop moving and just stare at their sexiness. And dude, he is totally one of these super sexy awesome people.

"Will you stop admiring yourself, and come to the conclusion that you're in some sort of out of body experience?" a very familiar English accent asked annoyed.

America turned away from looking at his sleeping body. "I'm having some sort of out of body experience?"

"I'm sure that you've seen enough movies to understand this concept. You're starring at your own body while you're not in it," England answered using a bitter tone. "What the hell do you think is going on?"

"I think I'm having some sort of out of body experience."

"Well duh," the Englishman answered putting a spoonful of Lucky Charms into his mouth.

"Why are you in my out of body experience?" the American asked. "And why are you eating a bowl of cereal?"

England set his spoon back in his bowl and sighed. "That would be your fault."

"How?"

"A few years ago, you saw a movie where the main character has some sort of out of body experience-"

"What movie was that?"

"I don't remember. Anyway, you saw this movie and decided that if you ever had some sort of out body experience, then you would want me there to-"

"Dude! I remember that now. I made you sign this contract that stated that if I ever passed out and had into a body experience, then wherever you are you would also pass out, and join me wherever I'm at to share this experience with me!" America laughed. "I totally forgot about that! It's amazing that it actually worked!"

The Englishman frowned and took two more bites of cereal. "I'm actually thinking of another word instead of 'amazing'. It really isn't amazing that my face passed out in a bowl of cereal." He set his spoon back into the bowl and stared at it. "I really don't want to know that frog is doing with my lifeless body," he mumbled too quite for the American to hear.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." England sighed and ate some more of his magically delicious Lucky Charms. "How did you even get in this mess anyway?"

"I was kidnapped by these demon guys!" America pointed at Rafu and his boss. "And this demon tricked me!" he said putting down the hand pointing at Rafu's boss in order to just point at Rafu.

"How did a Japanese airline security guard trick you?" the Englishman asked. "And why are you calling him a demon?"

"Because he is a demon! He tricked me into making a ridiculous promise!" the American stated waving his arms, like some sort demented white chick at a rave.

"What did you promise that's so outrageous?" England asked frowning at America's performance.

"He got me to promise to kiss Russia on the mouth-"

The Englishman dropped his spoon in shook. This action cut the American off, and left both men staring at the spoon on the floor in silence.

"Did I hear you correctly? I thought you just said that you promised to kiss Russia on the mouth," England said, using an overly calm voice, breaking the silence.

"You most certainty did," America confirmed. "I promised this Rufus guy that if his nonexistent American friend somehow brings Russia in here I'll kiss him on the mouth. Not Wesley, his American friend, on the mouth. Russia on the mouth."

The Englishman burst into laughter. "Oh goodness! You're going to have to keep this promise! For once your over confidence has gotten you in trouble! Ha, the United States of America _never _breaks a promise!"

The American glared at his English companion. "This is all Rufus's fault! He tricked me into becoming overly confident!"

England picked up his fork from the floor. "Tricked or not tricked you're still going to have to live up to your promise. Russia will probably kill you later." He chuckled. "That is, unless you find a way out of this mess-"

"Dude! That's it! I was so freaked out that I became blind to the obvious loophole," America exclaimed cutting England off.

"Loophole?"

"Yeah, I promised Rufus that if his _American _friend somehow waltz in here with Russia, then I'll kiss Russia on the mouth." The American grinned proud with himself. "Wesley is from Alaska!"

The Englishman frowned. "You own Alaska."

"I do? Are you sure?"

"How the hell do you not know what land you own?" England asked annoyed. "Don't you remember the big deal you made when oil was discovered there? You personally visited Russia with a bouquet of sunflowers to thank him for the black gold. Then you stared dancing and singing this song you made up. I believe it went like, 'Don't you wish your country had oil like mine'."

"Oh shit!" the America exclaimed upset. "I going to need a another loophole now. England, you're good with laws and crap, help me figure out a loophole."

"No, you're going to need to live up to your promise," the Englishman spat. "This should teach you a lesson."

"But I don't want to learn a lesson!"

"Too bad. You got yourself into this mess, and now you have to kiss Russia." England looked at the three men and Russia staring at America's unconscious body. "Oh, and it looks like the Wesley person is going to record this," he stated pointing at the bartender's phone.

"That totally makes Wesley not a American! True Americans don't-"

"Wesley is a American," the Englishman corrected eating some of his cereal. "Stop trying to find a way out of this. Speaking of a way out, how does this out of body experience thing end?"

"I don't know," the American answered. "In the movies the dude just wakes up. But, this isn't exactly like the movies 'cause in the movies the people are still moving when the dude is knocked out. Russia, Rufus, Wesley, and Rufus's boss guy aren't moving."

"Good observation, America. Maybe you aren't that dumb. So, we just need to figure out why time isn't moving around us."

"Do you think time stopped because the world would be forever damaged if I kissed Russia?"

"No. The only thing that would be damaged would be your pride. You're not going to burst into flames, or drop dead or anything. But, you might receive a black eye from Russia."

"Dude, this is so unfair! I really don't want to kiss that commie!"

"He's not a commie anymore. You really need to stop calling him a commie," England lectured. "And besides if this strange out of body experience doesn't end, then we might be stuck-" The Englishman cut himself off when he noticed Rufus' hand move slightly. "Oh..."

"Huh?"

"Time hasn't stopped moving around us. It's just moving really slowly."

"I don't get it."

"You're probably just going to be passed out in real time for a few seconds or so, then you're going to wake up and live up to your promise. Time is just moving slowly in this out of body experience you're having for you can talk to me. Because apparently I'm your voice of reason, and I need to lecture you before you go off and make another promise that's going to embarrass you."

"Why the hell would you be my voice of reason?"

England sighed and ate some more of his cereal. "I don't know. Its probably the contract you made me sign a year ago." He blushed. "I probably shouldn't have sighed that thing with one of my magic pens," he mumbled upset.

"I don't want this out of body experience to end! The second it ends I'm going to have to-"

"Well, I do! I got France over at my place. And this little faint of yours has me passed out with my face in a bowl of cereal. Do you have any idea what France can possibly be doing right now?"

"But time isn't moving around us-"

"No! Time is moving slowly around us! And France could be using this slowly around us time to slowly move his hand towards my-"

Everything went black before the Englishman could finish. The out of body experience was now over.

Now America just had to wake up, swat that phone out of Wesley's hand, and live up to his promise. Then after that he should get some sleep. Sleep is recommend for people after they pass out.

**A/N**

**I really wanted America to have an out of body experience. I also wanted England to lecture him while eating a bowl of Lucky Charms. **

**Sorry, if you wanted England's reaction to be USUK instead of laughing. **

**Anyway, about Rufus, two of y'all want to marry him. The logically answer would be to let Japanese Sinister marry him 'cause she asked first. But, I don't like logical answers. So, Rufus is going to be on the Bachelor. **

**I'll start handing out roses in the next chapter. **

**Notice a grammar mistake + pointing it out in a review = this story becoming better and me being happy. **


	10. Kiss

After America passed out, Rufus's boss opened the cell's door, and everybody piled in to join the lunatic in his cage. It was a little crowded, but it wasn't crowded enough to feel claustrophobic.

The Russian frowned at the unconscious American body. "I'm sorry that my presence has given Alfred such a fright that he has passed out-"

Rafu's boss cut him off. "No, no, no, it's not your fault. We should have realized how unstable your friend was before we brought you here. Is passing out normal-"

"No, this is actually really unusual. I don't think I've seen him still for more than three seconds. It's been about thirty seconds now," Russia explained. "This is just unusual. Alfred can't even lay still in his sleep."

"You two sleep together?" Wesley asked before he could stop his mouth.

The Russian frowned at the exchange student. "Excuse me?"

Rufus punched Wesley in the arm. "Uh... what Mr. Browning meant to ask was... uh..."

The younger nation turning his head to the left cut off the prison guard's stuttering. It sort of made the older nation think that he wasn't really fully unconscious at the moment. Like the he was just pretending to be asleep to get out of something.

"Is he going to wake up soon?" the exchange student asked watching the American twitch his head.

"Probably," the Russian said smiling. "Shame, I thought he was going to make it for a minute without movement."

America mumbled something that sounded like complaining and turned his head back to the right. Maybe him really wasn't unconscious at the moment.

"Would you like us to leave?" Rufus's boss asked Russia.

"Pardon?"

"Would you like to leave for you can just be with your friend when he wakes up?" the prison guard's boss explained. "I'm not a doctor or anything, but I think a crowd of people around him might be a bit alarming-"

"No, you guys can stay," the Russian answered. "You, Wesley, and Rafu don't make a crowd. A crowd has much more people."

"Okay... well if you ever feel like we should leave just say so."

Russia smiled. "That is very nice of you, but I doubt I'll need you guys to leave."

"If you change your mind just say so."

The younger nation mumbled something in protest. To Rufus, Wesley, and Rufus's boss this mumbled would just seem like he was talking in some sort of half-asleep state. But, the older nation knew better. America wasn't in some sort of half-asleep state. He was pretending to or at least trying to still be asleep.

The Russian crouched down next to the American. "For your safety, you guys might want to step back out of the cage," he told Rufus, Wesley, and Rufus's boss. "Alfred is currently very unstable."

"Okay," Wesley said, still holding his phone, as he and Rufus and Rufus's boss stepped out of the prison cell.

"Do you want me to close this?" Rufus asked holding the cell's door.

"Rafu, that's a silly question. We shouldn't lock this nice man up with this lunatic."

"Oh." The prison guard let go of the cell door.

Russia ignored the conversation between Rafu and his boss, and up his hands around America's neck. "Alfred, you need to wake up now."

"You shouldn't call me Alfred, and I'm still asleep," America spat with his eyes closed.

The Russian frowned. "Alfred, you're not fooling anybody. You need to stop being ridiculous and open your eyes."

"Stop calling me that," the American said refusing to open his eyes. "You're not allowed to call me Alfred."

"Alfred you're being ridiculous," the older nation stated. "Is there some reason why you're pretending to be asleep?"

"No-"

The bartender giggled. Making everybody except the younger nation turn to look at him. "I... uh... just remembered something silly."

The prison guard punched the bartender in the arm. "Uh... please carry on."

Russia frowned and turned back to America. "Alfred, you're already embarrassing yourself. Stop being ridiculous and get up. Wesley needs to get back to work, and Rafu probably needs this cell for-"

Rufus's boss cut him off. "Actually these prison cells are hardly ever used."

"The point is, Alfred, you need to get up for everybody can get back to their lives-"

"I'm still asleep."

"You're having a conversation with me. You're not fooling anybody, Alfred."

"Stop calling me that."

"But it's your name."

"Yes, but you're not allowed to use it."

The older nation frowned and looked at Rufus, Wesley, and Rufus's boss, then back to looking at the younger nation. "Alfred, this is ridiculous. You need to stop being foolish, and just get up-"

"No-"

"Would you like me to open your eyelids for you?"

The American moved his hands to cover his eyes. "No."

The Russian frowned. "Now you're just being ridiculous. Is there some sort of reason why you're pretending to be asleep?"

America groaned. "Curse you Rufus and your somehow American friend. You two are both demons."

Russia blinked confused. "You need to stop being ridiculous, and they're not demons-"

The younger nation sat up in protest, and opened his eyes. "Yes! They are demons! Rufus tricked..." He let his voice trail off realizing that he just blown his cover of pertaining to be asleep. His voice of reason reminded him that he was an idiot in his head. "Shit!"

The older nation frowned. "Alfred-"

The American cut him off by swatting the bartender's phone out of his hand.

"My phone!

"Shut up! You ain't a true American."

"Alfred why did you just-"

America cut Russia off by kissing him right on the mouth. The kiss only lasted for a second, before America pulled away. But it was the longest second both nations ever felt. It was almost like time had stopped.

Everybody was quiet until the American broke the silence. "The United States of America never breaks a promise!" he said as he threw his first into the arm.

The Russian frowned and blushed. For a second he thought that the American nation had some sort of feelings for him. He didn't. He just was caring though with another foolish promise he made. And for some reason that made he feel a little sad. He didn't understand why, but he just felt sad.

"I'm going to need everybody to leave," Russia said darkly. "I need to have a few words with the United States of America alone."

America gulped. Whatever was going to happen next was probably not going to be in his favor.

**A/N**

**This or the next chapter will probably be the last chapter with Rufus, Wesley, and Rufus's boss. I'm surprised that y'all liked them so much. I only let them stay this long 'cause you guys liked them. Somebody even suggested that Rufus and Wesley should be together. What are your thoughts on that? **

**Oh, and I'm think that I might give the hundredth reviewer a oneshot. I'm getting really close to hundred reviews. And I think being the hundredth review should be a rewarded as a big honor. Oh, and I've done requested oneshots before. I'll PM the winner more information, and my conditions, if I decide to give them an oneshot. **

**If ya notice a grammar mistake please point it out. The sooner I fix it the better. **


	11. Questions and Answers

"So, you guys are just going to walk out of here, and leave me with Russia!" America cried as Wesley, and Rufus, followed Rufus's boss outside the door. "What about no man left behind? Come on Rufus's somehow American friend you can't just leave one of your own kind behind!"

"Sorry, but I don't think I'm part lunatic," the exchange student mumbled closing the door behind him. Wesley clearly wasn't happy that he missed the one-second kiss, because he had to pick his phone off the ground.

"Buddy, don't close that door!" the American yelled after the door was closed. "I'm the United States of America! I can't be locked in the same room as-"

The Russian cut him off, and tightened the hold he hand on his shoulders. "Alfred, shut up. You're being ridiculous-"

"No! I'm not!" the younger nation yelled. "Rufus's somehow American friend be a true American and unlock this damn door! Come on Rufus's somehow American friend you aren't that cold hearted-"

The older nation cut him off again. "These doors aren't locked."

"Really?" America asked trying to get Russia to let go of his shoulders. "Dude, let go and let me get out of here."

"Not until you explain a few things to me," Russia said not losing his grip. "First of all, why did you kiss me?"

The American blushed. "Rufus tricked me-"

"How?"

"He said that he caught you, and I knew that you were too... uh... Russia for that, so I called him a liar. He insisted that he wasn't a liar, and we argued, and I think there was a roundhouse kick somewhere in there-"

"Be serious."

"I am being serious! Rufus tricked me! He made me promise to kiss you on the mouth if you got caught by his army of demons!"

The Russian sighed. "So, your own stupidity finally punished you."

"My voice of reason said the exact same thing," the younger nation added, "and I'm still not sure what the hell that means."

The older nation frowned. "Voice of reason?"

"Yeah, England. He's like my voice of reason or something. When I passed out I had this out of body experience, and England told me-"

"You must have been dreaming, because that makes no sense," Russia said cutting America off.

"I'm not making this up! I had a out of body experience and England was in it to lecture me!"

The Russian shook his head. "Whatever, now I have another question for you-"

"Hurray."

"I want to know if the ghosts are still after you-"

"Shit! I forgot about the ghost guys!" the American cried. "Of course those demons are still after me... Wait... wait a second... I just thought of something."

The older nation raised his eyebrow. "What did you just think of?"

"Well, Rufus never really was a demon or ghost guy," the younger nation answered. "'Cause if Rufus was a demon or ghost guy, then his somehow American friend would never be friends with him. Americans have this natural sense of judgment."

"That also makes no sense."

"Yes it does! Americans have this natural sense of knowing who the bad guy is. The bad guy is usually some freak with a crazy mustache, petting some fluffy cat that's sitting on their lap, or something else creepy like that-"

"Where are you going with this?"

"What I'm saying is, Rufus isn't creepy looking, and he probably doesn't own a creepy looking fluffy cat. So he can't be the bad guy. If he were then he would have like a mustache or one eyebrow or something."

Russia frowned. "So, now you're thinking that Rafu isn't a demon?"

"I'm not _thinking _Rufus isn't a demon, Russia. I'm_ knowing_ that Rufus isn't a demon," America stated placing his hands on his hips to add effect.

"You're actually admitting to making a mistake-"

"No, I'm not admitting to that. The United States of America never makes a mistake," the American informed. "What I'm saying is the demons that are still out there made Rufus appear as one of them, and caused me to make a mistake-"

"So, you did make a mistake-"

"No, the demons made a mistake to make me make a mistake. I didn't make a mistake. A mistake was made to make me make a mistake. But I never made a mistake to make those demons make a mistake to make me make a mistake."

The older nation frowned. "I have no idea what you just said."

"I didn't make a mistake, but the demons made a mistake to make me make a mistake. But I didn't make a mistake to make the demons make a mistake that-"

"I didn't ask you to repeat that tongue twister," the older nation said cutting the younger nation's rambling off. "So, what you're saying is that there is still demons out to get you?"

"Well, duh, those demons still want me to be served with a side of butter-"

"Side of butter?"

"I guess it could be a side of molasses. They're demons so they probably do prefer that disgusting molasses crap. Anyway, yes, those demons are still out there, and they still want me to be their food. But, the good news is through the power of the demons making a mistake I have been reunited with you!"

Russia frowned. "What mistake did these demons make exactly?"

America laughed. "Oh, simple. They tried to embarrass me and make me feel unconfident. 'Cause being unconfident makes a dude an easy target. They made me think Rufus was one of them, and that resulted in me being doubtful about your arrival. The demons planned for you to come here you see. And they knew that I wouldn't believe that you would be coming-"

"Okay?"

"So, that plan resulted in me making a ridiculous promise to kiss you right on the mouth," the American continued laughing. "Those demons really are banging there heads against the wall now. 'Cause I didn't melt with your communist touch or anything-"

"Communist touch?"

"Yeah, before I kissed you I was positive that if I kissed you I would burst into flames or something dramatic like that-"

"You've daydreamed about kissing me before?"

The younger nation blushed at the older nation's question. "Uh... sort uh... I don't really want to answer that question."

Russia smiled. "I have one more question for you-"

"Ask away."

"Why am I your safe haven?" the Russian asked. "We never really liked each other. Well, maybe you liked me because you just admitted to daydreaming about-"

"Hey! I didn't admit to anything! And its not like I was the only one getting crazy thoughts during that boring PowerPoint presentation England gave last meeting!"

The older nation smiled darkly. "I thought of another question-"

"As long as it's not about my crazy thoughts during that PowerPoint presentation I'll answer it. I really don't feel like explaining why I was picturing you dressed as-" the younger nation cut himself off and blushed.

Russia raised his eyebrow, and loosened his grip on America's shoulders. "Now I'm a little curious about that, but that's not what my question is about."

"Good."

"I want to know if you enjoyed the kiss-"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Did you or did you not enjoy the kiss?"

"It didn't even last a whole second! And let go of my damn shoulders!"

"Would you have enjoyed it if it lasted longer?"

"I think that maybe... Hey! You said that you only had one more question! That's a another question!"

The Russian sighed defeated. "Fine, don't answer that question-"

"I won't," the younger nation spat crossing his arms.

The older nation frowned and looked around the room. "Do you still want to go to my house?" he asked after a bit of silence.

"Yes, you're place is safer than this place," the younger nation answered. "Let's get out of here and hop on a plane."

"There's a problem with that-"

"A problem?"

"Yes, according to customer service, there wouldn't be any more-"

"When did you talk to customer service?"

"A while ago, before I found you here. Anyway, the weather is too brutal for planes to even try to get off the ground."

"That's not good," America said not realizing that Russia was no longer holding him by the shoulders. "Are we going to have to spend the night at the airport?"

"Sadly yes."

"Well then use your creepy Russianness to get us a free room! I would like us to have a room with a nice little balcony and a mini fridge-"

"You want to share a hotel room with me?"

"Dude, a room with two beds."

"Oh."

"The demons are still after me, but they aren't going to go near you. So, what do you say Russia, are you going to use your creepy Russianness to get us a free room?"

Russia smiled. If he was going to get information out of America tonight, then he better see how far he can humiliate America. "Sure, but you're going to have to follow a few conditions-"

"Conditions?"

"First of all, you can't call me Russia. Humans aren't supposed to know about country personifications-"

"I'll call you Tall Man!"

"No, you're call me Ivan, and I'll call you Alfred."

America huffed. "Tall Man sounds way cooler."

"Second of all, if we are going to rent a room together, then we're going to have to come across as lovers."

**A/N**

**Sorry, but I really wanted to end this chapter with that line. Oh, and sorry that this update is late. I sort of graduated high school, and had family over, and stuff like that. **

**Anyway, Sunday I'm leaving for Costa Rica. I'm going to be there for a month living with a host family. I'm going to be learning Spanish! To help increase my knowledge I have decided to cut off all connections from my English-speaking world. (Well I'm still going to have to email my parents every week)**

**The point is, I wouldn't be updating anything till I come back from Costa Rica. Hopefully, when I come back my inbox will be spammed with reviews, and people sending me pictures of fanart of this fic. (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, like that would ever happen) **

**Hunny The Monster (I think that you have an awesome penname) I'll try to get that oneshot done before Sunday. Congrats on winning! **

**If ya notice a mistake, let me know! **


	12. Novio no es enemy en español

America frowned. "That's just stupid."

"Well we need a hotel room for the night, and I don't think that the employees just hand out keycards to-"

"Yeah, but do we seriously have to come across as lovers?" the younger nation asked cutting the older nation off. "I mean seriously you have to be joking. Nobody not even a demon will believe that someone this awesome would settle down with somebody not as awesome. Hell, nobody would believe that somebody like me would settle down at all."

Russia gave a small laugh. "I think some people would find it believable. Didn't your people believe that hiding under a desk would protect them during a-"

"Dude, don't make a stab at the desk logic! Everybody knows that hiding under a desk will protect you in the most dangerous of situations!"

"Whatever." The Russian rolled his eyes then continued with his teasing. "The point is there is stupid people in this world. And these people would easily believe that someone like you would feel comfort settling down with somebody like me."

"Those stupid people are just stupid," the American spat clearly not picking up the tease. "Dude, be realistic. Can't we just pretend that I'm out of my mind with a wondering problem, and can't be left alone? I'm sure that would come across as more believable."

"I really don't think so," the older nation said continuing his tease. "You really don't seem like the out of mind type-"

"Bull crap! That Rufus freak and his friend freak already think I'm out of my mind. Just let me continue playing the roll that I'm out of my mind-"

"Alfred, you weren't playing the roll you really are out of your mind-"

"Then let me continue being out of my mind! I'm seriously really good at it. Oh, and don't call me Alfred," the younger nation said.

"I don't believe that you have a talent for acting, Alfred," Russia stated.

"I do too! And stop calling me Alfred! You haven't earned the right to call me that."

The Russian sighed. "Oh yeah that's right, I have to be considered one of your friends-"

"Exactly."

"But you did kiss me in front of some witnesses, so I guess that makes me more than a friend-"

"For the last time I was tricked!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure you were-"

"Do you want me to repeat that tongue twister?"

"Not really-"

"Then let me come across as a person who's out of their mind!"

The older nation playfully sighed. "Okay, okay, you can still be to be out of your mind. Because I'm positive that you never really needed to pretend that you were out of your mind-"

"Yay!"

"However, you must refer to me as Ivan. No calling me Russia. Humans aren't supposed to know-"

"But calling you Russia is part of my out of my mind cover!"

"Not anymore."

"But-"

"Do you want a hotel room or not?"

The younger nation huffed. "I want a hotel room."

"Then stop calling me Russia and call me Ivan."

"What if I don't?"

"Then I'll tell Rufus and Wesley and anybody else we run into that we're lovers."

America crossed his arms in disappointment. "Fine... Braginski."

Russia sighed and opened the door that lend to the hallway. "I guess that's close enough for now, Alfred."

"You still can't call me that," the American restated following the Russian into the hallway.

"Whatever you say, Alfred. Just be sure to come across as out of your mind."

"Dude, you are totally going to be unprepared for my awesome performance."

Rufus's boss approached them before the older nation could say anything else to the younger nation.

"Is there anything else you guys need help with before-"

"Yo y mi novio no necesitamos ayudar," America told Rufus's boss in Spanish cutting him off.

Rufus's boss blinked not understanding any of this. "Uh..."

Russia also blinked. "He said that we don't need anymore help. Thank you goodbye."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," the Russian quickly answered before the American could say anything else incorrect in Spanish. "I just need a moment to speak with Alfred-"

"No es mi nombre!"

"Didn't you guys just have a moment to speak-"

"Well I need another moment," the older nation said rudely cutting Rufus's boss off. "Please disappear."

"Okay..." Rufus's boss frowned but walked off as instructed to.

"Adios!" America waved goodbye watching Rufus's boss disappear into another hallway. "Dude, wasn't my performance just awesome?"

"No. I thought you were going to continue with the ghost are after me performance; because you made it really clear that you don't want us pretending that we're lovers. What the hell are you thinking calling me your-"

"I bet you didn't know that I could speak Spanish," the younger nation said cutting him off.

"Do you have any idea what you just said?"

"Yeah, I told the boss man that we didn't need anymore help," the American said smiling. "Wasn't I great? Mexico's been teaching me the language. Well not really teaching me. Me and Mexico just have been hanging out more, and I started picking up the language."

The Russian shook his head. "You called me your boyfriend-"

America laughed. "No I didn't. You totally must have misheard."

"The word novio means boyfriend-"

"No it means enemy," the young nation corrected. "I picked that word up all on my own-"

"Oh dear-"

"Why are you 'oh dearing'? The word novio totally means enemy. I picked that word up when Mexico would introduce me to her friends in Center America. You know those countries that have really good coffee."

The older nation shook his head. "Enemy es enemigo in Spanish."

"No its totally novio," the American corrected. "And if a really big enemy you use the word esposo."

"I'm glad you didn't call me a esposo-"

"Yeah, you may be a jerk, but you ain't all that bad-"

The Russian looked up at the ceiling. "You know the word esposo means husband in Spanish-"

America chuckled. "You're really silly." He took out his Blackberry. "I'm going to prove ya wrong with my buddy Google Translate."

"Hey what happened to your iPhone?"

"The demons on the plane ate it," the younger nation said as if he was discussing the weather. "Okay, Google Translate open..." he mumbled as he typed. "What the hell Mexico?"

"I take if you realized why you shouldn't speak Spanish," the older nation said.

"I can't believe that Mexico's been-"

"Yeah, yeah, you learn from your mistakes. Let's just go get a hotel room, and stop trying to speak in Spanish. You're clearly not very good at it."

**A/N**

**I think I'm going to turn this story into more of a bromance. The whole love story thing isn't really working, because I can't get myself to buy it. **

**Anyway, I'm back from Costa Rica. Oh, and I went to Mexico. So I'm back from Mexico too. If anybody wants info on Costa Rica I'll send you a list I wrote.**

**Don't forget to point out grammar mistakes! **


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